Judgement v. You
Reflecting on a session, the quest to being non-judgmental is a long one. The first step is knowing the difference between a judgement and an observation. A judgement is labeling the quality of something or someone. Saying something is good or bad and right and wrong. Observation is stating what is. Remember we see the world as we are and not how it it. So observation involves seeing ourselves clearer and not just “the object.”
By the time we can spell judgement, we have endured so much judgement from people. Judgement comes from people we love and appreciate. Easily judgement can be confused with critique. A coach may critique for improvement. Judgement is finite, dualistic and creates limitation.
The Judgement that individuals find discomfort in, is the judgement they impose on people to feel superior or inferior. The judgement that they can not say aloud and the silent judgement they expect from others.
To move from judgment to observation is to practice making a statement of judgement to an observation.
Example: That is an ugly dress.
Observation: I do not find that dress appealing.
Deeping Question: How come?
Hint: The answer is personal. It is not about the dress. The dress simply is.
Most statements beyond. I would not like to wear it is. Judgement.
Your preference is discernment. Your opinion is in judgement.
Now you can maybe get technical and say that it breaks this fashion law or design. Yet it all comes back to you. Their is an assumption that the limitation to fashion and design must be imposed upon everyone.
The beauty in observation is it allows us to see ourselves clearly. We can see our beliefs, preferences, upsets, rules, expectations, standards, and abilities, so much clearer as we bring attention to what we judge the most. Clarity comes with contrast and we can recognize what is not who we truly are or what we truly want to be.
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.
I grew up thinking this meant, if I judged others "the God outside myself” would find out and then it would be calculated at the end of my life. Nah
In that moment, the judgement curses us because that separation is now between you and yourself. You can identify and resolve what is bringing you discomfort or judge.
Moving into observation is the process of unburdening yourself with opinions. Ego has opinions and loves to hear others’, even opposing ones solely for the sake of fighting (reinforcing its grip on our essence.)
Zooming out. The ego loves a judgement. People have ego’s and so do collectives. You may identify with one persona and judge all that is not. So instead of I do not want to be overweight. (discernment) You may say someone who is overweight is careless, unworthy, or gross. Yet in that judgement you have made a fault in your own consciousness. Not seeing your own fear, desperation for health, or emotional incompetence to feel your discomfort with a un ideal figure.
This type of judgement structured around pride happens in many arenas including religion, country, team, aptitude, status. Yet the more we judge collectively the more we separate.
